I think a gender rule that I wish I did not have to follow is wearing make-up. Sure, it makes me feel prettier and gives me that extra oopmh feeling, but what's sad is that it is so expected of young girls to wear mascara at such an early age. I remember when I was in 7th grade and I got my first mascara. It was a pretty exciting moment then, but looking back on it now, I was probably about 11 or 12 (if I did my math right). Now I see some girls in 6th grade wearing a full face of makeup! It's crazy to see how young these girls are, wearing makeup and following this gender rule so young. I felt obligated to start wearing mascara because every other girl in 7th grade was wearing mascara. As I was conforming to wearing my mascara, it made me feel pretty, and it made me feel like I fit in with the rest of the 7th grade girls. Now I've come to the point where I wear mascara practically every day and it's no longer a weird thing to me. It's come to the point where I feel weird if I don't wear mascara, compared to 7th grade when I had no idea what mascara even did.
Prompt #2
I have actually witnessed gender policing fairly recently
(if I'm understanding the term correctly). I was with my family out at dinner,
and the waitress was taking our order. My sister is gay, and so she tends to
dress a little bit more masculine than I would or than my mom would. I think
that particular night she was wearing black skinny jeans, doc Martens, a black
band shirt, and a denim jacket. Also, her hair is cut pretty short with shaved
sides. Anyway, the waitress gets to my sister and addresses her as "sir",
even though my sister identifies as female. My sister let it slide and went on
to order, but I'm pretty sure I was just sitting there with my mouth open. I
suppose my sister could come across as male, but like it's pretty clear that
she has boobs. Maybe the waitress had a lot on her mind; I don't know her life.
The point is, she clearly misaddressed my sister, based on what she saw looking
at my sister (who she thought was a dude) and what she knows as societal
standards of being male. She put two and two together, and came up with my
sister being male. Now, that was obviously incorrect since my sister is a
female, but society has come to identify people who have short hair as male I
guess. If the waitress had not addressed my sister as "sir", she might've
just addressed her as "miss" or just made direct eye contact and said
"you", especially if she did not know what to identify her as. But
she chose to identify her as "sir". If she had chosen to address my
sister as "miss", I wouldn't have had my mouth open and therefore
would not be writing about this incident on my blog. But hey, life happens.
Prompt #3
I think the thing that resonated most with me from watching
those videos is the comment Janet said when she was interviewing with Oprah.
When she was in kindergarten, she was supposed to put her stuff in the blue
cubby hole for boys, even though she wanted to put her stuff in the red cubby
hole for girls. She had to identify herself with one of the two boxes
presented, and the box that she was supposed to identify with didn't feel right
with her. I think it's so crazy and so amazing that she knew from such an early
age that she didn't feel right. I've always felt right with who I am; I can't
imagine not feeling right with who you are.
Hello Breanna,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post! I feel the same way about make up and how its sort of expected of us girls. I like wearing make up and I do feel prettier wearing it but I don't like the fact that we are expected to wear make up. But i guess it is what it is. Also about your experience with gender policing and your sister, I feel these days if you have short hair and dress a little more masculine then society automatically associates you being a male which in some cases could be totally wrong. I agree I too can't imagine not feeling right with who I am.
Hello Breanna,
ReplyDeleteI couldn’t agree more with the idea that so many girls in society are following gender rule, such as putting on makeup. Girls today are peer pressured to conform to what society expects and wants, in turn it is lowering their self esteem. It was around the same age when I felt like makeup made me pretty and that should not be the case. Society should not set the standard of what makes someone pretty. Now days I can give two loads of crap how I look. As for what happened to your sister that is horrible. If anything it made the waitress look bad for assuming her gender, when in doubt use neutral words. It’s scary how black and white the societal standards are, especially in schools. As in Janet’s case, she was forced to place her shoes in the “red” box. I think kids should not be forced upon the gender standards, they don’t know any better. In the case of David Reimer, an individual who he was born a boy, but brought up a girl; represents this idea of society forcing something upon you. At the end Reimer knew from day one that he was a boy all along.
enjoyed reading your blog. Happy Wednesday!
Hi Breanna,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really enjoyed reading your blog you have a great sense of humor. I couldn't agree more with the make-up expectation in girls. I have a little sister that is a six grader and shes already wearing make-up along with the majority of her friends. This still shocks me at times I wonder at what age young girls will start wearing make-up in a couple more generations. Also, I enjoyed reading your story about your sister and the way that waitress totally gender policed her. Thanks for sharing!
Alexandra E Medina
Hi Breanna,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading you blog. I also agree with you about the expectations for girls and make-up. I was really surprise and honestly a little in shock when I read what happened with your sister at that restaurant. I don't have a sister, but if i did I feel like i would feel offended and probably really upset if that would've happened to her. I honestly don't know how I would've reacted in that moment. I also felt the same way when we watched that video on Janet, its totally crazy that she had these experiences at such a young age.
Hi Breanna:) I agree with you about how it is amazing that Janet Mock knew who she was at a young age. Even when people were telling her to be and act a boy she knew that she was a woman.
ReplyDeleteGirl, if I wore make up everyday, I would probably go crazy. I just think it's A LOT of work and I just don't like doing it. My little sister is in the 7th grade right now and she can't wait to start wearing make up. I have tried telling her that it sucks and it is a lot of work. But I guess she will just have to learn that on her own. Second of all, you are funny. Yes, your sister has boobs! I wear black jeans and black shirts all the time, and no one has ever confused me as a "sir". Let's be honest, I would have said something. Whether your sister was okay with it or not, I am not okay with stereotyping based on appearance. And also I found the same quote that Janet said very interesting. I actually work at an elementary school, and they no longer use gender specific colors. Everything is organized by name.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading your blog :)
Girl, if I wore make up everyday, I would probably go crazy. I just think it's A LOT of work and I just don't like doing it. My little sister is in the 7th grade right now and she can't wait to start wearing make up. I have tried telling her that it sucks and it is a lot of work. But I guess she will just have to learn that on her own. Second of all, you are funny. Yes, your sister has boobs! I wear black jeans and black shirts all the time, and no one has ever confused me as a "sir". Let's be honest, I would have said something. Whether your sister was okay with it or not, I am not okay with stereotyping based on appearance. And also I found the same quote that Janet said very interesting. I actually work at an elementary school, and they no longer use gender specific colors. Everything is organized by name.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading your blog :)